I Don't

Before I state my bias and very tainted opinion let us begin with some light humor.  “IT COMES WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I MUST INFORM EVERYONE, DUE TO OUR CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL WILL BE TURNED OFF UNTIL FARTHER NOTICE”.  Now that I have my moment of softness out of the way let me get to the point. A guy (Fred) that I have known for close to 25 years informed me that he was planning to get married for the 8th time. Each of the previous wives I had a relationship with them based upon the association I have with Fred. In all of the years I have known him, he has never been afraid to put his heart on the line. He has always given each lady the benefit of a stable and caring man.  Many of us would have long ago given up on love and all the pain that comes with being in a committed relationship or failing in marriage so many times. He wants me to be involved in this my 8th wedding, and I am a bit torn about the entire situation and getting involved. I was raised to see marriage as the ultimate bond in someone’s life. It is true that I have condoned his previous 7 marriages out of respect for his feelings.  Also is the added fact that he is 6 years my senior and I look up to him, mainly in the way he handles work decisions and stay professional under some difficult times. With age comes wisdom and I cannot stand by him this time around. The few times his future bride and I have interacted we did not agree on anything. But most of all I feel like I would be co-signing on another one of his bad decisions.

Bad choice

The other day a guy I have known for close to 30 years told me about a situation. He said that he needed my advice and that I could be as honest as I like. I agreed to listen to him, not interrupt his message and give him my (straight, with no chaser) opinion. One night at the club the group he was in met a group of ladies. Not all of them were compatible, so out of 10 couples 3 actually continued to talk. After a few weeks he spent the night at her place. The next morning he was awaken by her yelling at someone over the phone. Once she hung the phone up he questioned. She explained that the person phone was her ex-boyfriend and that she told him about his and her relationship. Knowing how a guys think, he told her he was leaving and let them resolve the issue. She asked that he not leave because the ex was not going to come to her place uninvited. He left anyway and as he made around the building a guy rushed by him. Rather than give him any advice I gave him the matter to solve for himself in two simple ways. I asked, did he for any moment think about how she may have put in life in danger? Second, knowing how she handled the breakup with her ex, are you willing to step in walk in his shoes? I do not know what decision he made, but I’m not the reason he decided to stay or go.

Made in Heaven

In 1988 I watched a movie that would have a profound effect on me. To this very day I am still left guesting what if that is me. As in any screenplay it takes a bit of imagination. This story is based on the Bible and reincarnation. I will try and explain the film in as few words as possible. A young man died trying to save the life of others and is sent to heaven. Once there he meets a young lady and they fall in love and get married. However, that is against the rules in heaven. One of the angels explains to man that the two have done something that was not done in the past. The lady is sent to earth as a baby with no memory of heaven. Before sending the man back he tells him as punishment the two of them will meet people and even get married. But they will never truly find and keep a relationship. He gives him a way out and tells him that he has until their 30^th birthday to find her, or they would never be together and be happy in life. The man is sent back as baby with no memory of heaven. The angel also place them on opposite sides of the US. The two grow up and have bad relationships one after another. The man decides to relocate to the west coast. There he meets some friends and his luck starts to make a turn for the better. They take him out to celebrate his 30^th birthday and rather than keep partying he went for a walk. As he walked among the crowd on the street he begin to feel something like deja vu. Crossing the street he felt a pair of eyes looking at him so intense that he froze and turned around. It was his wife from heaven and the last words you here is the angel’s voice saying, “Congratulations, she found you”.