I Don't

Before I state my bias and very tainted opinion let us begin with some light humor.  “IT COMES WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT I MUST INFORM EVERYONE, DUE TO OUR CURRENT ECONOMIC SITUATION THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL WILL BE TURNED OFF UNTIL FARTHER NOTICE”.  Now that I have my moment of softness out of the way let me get to the point. A guy (Fred) that I have known for close to 25 years informed me that he was planning to get married for the 8th time. Each of the previous wives I had a relationship with them based upon the association I have with Fred. In all of the years I have known him, he has never been afraid to put his heart on the line. He has always given each lady the benefit of a stable and caring man.  Many of us would have long ago given up on love and all the pain that comes with being in a committed relationship or failing in marriage so many times. He wants me to be involved in this my 8th wedding, and I am a bit torn about the entire situation and getting involved. I was raised to see marriage as the ultimate bond in someone’s life. It is true that I have condoned his previous 7 marriages out of respect for his feelings.  Also is the added fact that he is 6 years my senior and I look up to him, mainly in the way he handles work decisions and stay professional under some difficult times. With age comes wisdom and I cannot stand by him this time around. The few times his future bride and I have interacted we did not agree on anything. But most of all I feel like I would be co-signing on another one of his bad decisions.

Bad choice

The other day a guy I have known for close to 30 years told me about a situation. He said that he needed my advice and that I could be as honest as I like. I agreed to listen to him, not interrupt his message and give him my (straight, with no chaser) opinion. One night at the club the group he was in met a group of ladies. Not all of them were compatible, so out of 10 couples 3 actually continued to talk. After a few weeks he spent the night at her place. The next morning he was awaken by her yelling at someone over the phone. Once she hung the phone up he questioned. She explained that the person phone was her ex-boyfriend and that she told him about his and her relationship. Knowing how a guys think, he told her he was leaving and let them resolve the issue. She asked that he not leave because the ex was not going to come to her place uninvited. He left anyway and as he made around the building a guy rushed by him. Rather than give him any advice I gave him the matter to solve for himself in two simple ways. I asked, did he for any moment think about how she may have put in life in danger? Second, knowing how she handled the breakup with her ex, are you willing to step in walk in his shoes? I do not know what decision he made, but I’m not the reason he decided to stay or go.

Made in Heaven

In 1988 I watched a movie that would have a profound effect on me. To this very day I am still left guesting what if that is me. As in any screenplay it takes a bit of imagination. This story is based on the Bible and reincarnation. I will try and explain the film in as few words as possible. A young man died trying to save the life of others and is sent to heaven. Once there he meets a young lady and they fall in love and get married. However, that is against the rules in heaven. One of the angels explains to man that the two have done something that was not done in the past. The lady is sent to earth as a baby with no memory of heaven. Before sending the man back he tells him as punishment the two of them will meet people and even get married. But they will never truly find and keep a relationship. He gives him a way out and tells him that he has until their 30^th birthday to find her, or they would never be together and be happy in life. The man is sent back as baby with no memory of heaven. The angel also place them on opposite sides of the US. The two grow up and have bad relationships one after another. The man decides to relocate to the west coast. There he meets some friends and his luck starts to make a turn for the better. They take him out to celebrate his 30^th birthday and rather than keep partying he went for a walk. As he walked among the crowd on the street he begin to feel something like deja vu. Crossing the street he felt a pair of eyes looking at him so intense that he froze and turned around. It was his wife from heaven and the last words you here is the angel’s voice saying, “Congratulations, she found you”.

Listen

Jon sat in his office staring at the picture frame hanging on wall. He wondered, how did he forget the most important area of his supervisory skill set.  A very simple situation got carried so far out of hand that it will take a good amount of time for everyone involved to get past the incident.  The department Jon supervised was three days away from setting a record month in fabrication sales. The boss and Jon made the decision to not tell my team of the situation. Jon did not want to add anymore stress into the workplace. Later that day Ivan came and asked to speak with Jon. Ivan was the sawman and without him cutting material the production line would come to a halt. Jon stated he was busy right now, but would come and get him when he had a moment. Thinking only of the record Jon gave no further thought to Ivan’s request. The next day Jon’s boss came a told him that he gave Ivan the next two days off. Jon became furious, thinking how could Ivan go over his head for the request. The record was achieved and Jon rewarded the team minus Ivan. Jon’s boss and the head of HR called him to the front office. Ivan reported Jon’s actions. It was explained that Ivan’s wife was hosptilized for a very serious condition. Jon’s heart dropped and he felt like a real idiot. Jon later apolized to Ivan and promised that there would never be a repeat of his non-feeling actions. Jon moved the picture frame in his office and placed it directly above the heads of people entering his office. The quote in the frame is as follows: I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. Ernest Hemingway

The “EX”

Recently I was placed in an extremely awkward situation by a few so called buddies. I use the word friend very little. For all of my life there are many people that I know, but there is a limited few that I call a friend. I was invited over to a buddy’s house for a football party. We do different events throughout the year and never had any problems. You should also know that all of the guys are married and I am not. Upon entering the house I see the woman I broke up with in 2012. We were together for 15 years and left on bad terms.  Once I finished verbally trashing the guys, I enjoyed the game, the food and drinks. Just you let everyone and her know I was over the relationship, I carried on some lite conversation and laughter.  When was done I went home. The questions I have are simple. If a relationship ends badly for one of the people involved, I think you should not have the same buddies. Will the women in the group ever let the old relationship die?  Also, I don’t know the rule of introducing a new lady into the circle.

For all but 11 years of my 2 oldest children life I was a single parent. In 1984 my daughter was 8 years old and my son 5. We would on many occasions watch certain TV shows together. My purpose for doing this was so I could help them understand some of the more difficult subject matters. One day we were watching the Oprah Winfrey show and the topic was abortion. It was stated that you could abort a fetus up to the third trimester. During the call in portion of the show I hear my son’s voice come over the TV. He wanted to know if the 2^nd grade and fourth semester was too late. He laughed for days and I also get a chuckle, whenever I re-live the moment. Believe it or not this is a true event. Too this very day they are extremely close and have often made some incredible sacrifices for one another. I tell this story as a reminder to myself about love. No matter how frustrated we get with someone, or we may get overly angry. If you have “LOVE” in your heart, you would rather have harm come to yourself.  

 

My first post

     I am writing my very first couple of paragraph for my blog. This whole thing is new to me and come with some apprehension. Will the things I talk about end up in a public forum. I am not much of a talker when it comes to new people or someone I have not had a pass conversations. But I will try and come out of my comfort zone and attempt something new.

     My name is Anthony and I am currently attending City College. The Private Investigations program is my field of choice. I am going to receive a Associates Degree by the end of 2014. The hope is that I will one day open my own Private Investigations agency in Jacksonville, Florida. As far as the insurance industry goes Jacksonville is a location rich with business.

     Jacksonville and the surrounding area is somewhere I am very familiar. I was raised in Jacksonville and have a lot of family in the city. I will have a very good network of contacts that are in the law enforcement, politics, private business, and insurance. Moving back to Jacksonville will also provide me with a certain level of confidence in my field.